expanding the inside

How do I know whether my progress, I guess, as a lesbian is going smoothly? Or correctly? Or idk. Sometimes I see older lesbians and their girlfriends and queer friends and I have no queer female friends or romantic interests so I still feel like I haven't made it anywhere. I am only 16, so that probably has something to do with it but does this feeling go away with time? Or is it something I have to actively work on? Did this question make sense I'm sorry if it didn't from Anonymous


Really in terms of being a lesbian there are 3 major steps for progression:

#1 - Figuring out that you prefer the company of women
#2 - Accepting that this is who you are.
#3 - Being proud of who you are.

That’s it. That’s all there is to being a lesbian.

Each sexual orientation or gender identity/non-identity interchanges #1 for their own definitions but otherwise it’s basically the same steps.

We are inundated by media and culture that we NEED to be in a relationship in order to solidify our positioning as a person within society. Want to know a secret? You don’t need to be. You do not require a partner in order to define your sexuality.

You are who you are because that’s how you feel and what you instinctively know. Does that make sense? 

The biggest things to know is not to be ashamed. Do not let any other person make you feel bad about how you feel. Whether over time it changes for you or not. BDSEMMA can tell you all about how your feelings can change drastically over time, and although sometimes it can be tough, it’s not bad in any way.

Be honest with yourself & your feelings, and don’t put pressure on yourself for “having to be in a relationship and surrounded by queers”. If you meet people that you get along with really well and they happen to be queer, great, if not no worries. 

Hope that helps, 

~ Va-J-J


Why is it that people are willing to spend $20 on a bowl of pasta with sauce that they might actually be able to replicate pretty faithfully at home, yet they balk at the notion of a white-table cloth Thai restaurant, or a tacos that cost more than $3 each? Even in a city as “cosmopolitan” as New York, restaurant openings like Tamarind Tribeca (Indian) and Lotus of Siam (Thai) always seem to elicit this knee-jerk reaction from some diners who have decided that certain countries produce food that belongs in the “cheap eats” category—and it’s not allowed out. (Side note: How often do magazine lists of “cheap eats” double as rundowns of outer-borough ethnic foods?)

Yelp, Chowhound, and other restaurant sites are littered with comments like, “$5 for dumplings?? I’ll go to Flushing, thanks!” or “When I was backpacking in India this dish cost like five cents, only an idiot would pay that much!” Yet you never see complaints about the prices at Western restaurants framed in these terms, because it’s ingrained in people’s heads that these foods are somehow “worth” more. If we’re talking foie gras or chateaubriand, fair enough. But be real: You know damn well that rigatoni sorrentino is no more expensive to produce than a plate of duck laab, so to decry a pricey version as a ripoff is disingenuous. This question of perceived value is becoming increasingly troublesome as more non-native (read: white) chefs take on “ethnic” cuisines, and suddenly it’s okay to charge $14 for shu mai because hey, the chef is ELEVATING the cuisine.

One of the entries from the list ‘20 Things Everyone Thinks About the Food World (But Nobody Will Say)’. (via crankyskirt)


(via thagal)

nothing truer